resolutions vs intentions

Let’s Talk About Why One So Often Fizzles Out

So… it’s that time again.

Firstly, Happy New Year! New year. Fresh start. Good intentions (ironically).   And suddenly we’re surrounded by lists of things we’re definitely going to be doing differently this year.

Eat better. Exercise more. Be more organised. Stress less. You know the list.

And if you’re anything like many of the women I speak to, there’s a quiet voice in the background saying:   “I’ve tried this before… and it didn’t really stick.” Which usually leads to another thought:  “What’s wrong with me, others can do this, but I can’t seem to ?” Let me reassure you right now — nothing.

Why resolutions feel so hard to keep

Resolutions often come from a place of pressure. They sound very convincing on 1st January, but they usually come with:

• A lot of “should and must”

• Very clear rules

• And very little compassion for real life or even understanding what is going on in your life, commitments etc.

They’re often focused on fixing something we think is wrong with us. And then… life happens.

 We get tired. Busy. Emotional. Overwhelmed.And when we don’t keep the resolution perfectly, we tend to give up altogether — or worse, beat ourselves up. That cycle is exhausting.

This is where intentions come in

Intentions are different.  An intention isn’t about being stricter with yourself — it’s about being more honest.

Instead of asking:

• “What must I change?”

• “What should I be better at?”

An intention asks:

• “How do I want to feel?”

• “What matters to me right now?”

• “What do I need more (or less) of in this season of my life?”

That’s a very different starting point.

A small but powerful shift

Let’s take a simple example.

A resolution might sound like:

“I will exercise five times a week.”

An intention might sound like:

“I intend to take better care of my body and energy.”

See the difference?

One is rigid. The other leaves room for reality — and kindness.

Intentions allow you to adapt without feeling like you’ve failed. You can return to them again and again, even after a difficult week or a wobble.

Real change doesn’t come from forcing ourselves into a new version of who we think we should be. It comes from understanding ourselves better and responding differently.

Why intentions tend to last longer

Intentions don’t rely on constant motivation (which, let’s be honest, comes and goes).

They’re more grounded in:

• Awareness

• Choice

• Values

• Self-trust

Instead of asking, “Why can’t I stick to this?”You start asking, “What’s getting in the way right now?”

That one shift can change everything.

If you’re feeling unsure, start here

You don’t need a long list. You don’t need a dramatic life overhaul.

You might simply ask yourself:

• Where do I feel a bit out of alignment?

• What feels heavy right now?

• What would support me more?

Often, one clear intention is enough to gently change how you move through your days.

A gentle reminder before you go

If resolutions haven’t worked for you in the past, it doesn’t mean you lack willpower or discipline.

It may simply mean you were trying to change from the outside in, instead of from the inside out.

And that’s not a failure — it’s information.

So perhaps this year isn’t about pushing harder. Maybe it’s about choosing a direction that feels more like you. And allowing that to be enough.

And if this reflection resonated, you’re very welcome to explore more — through my work with New Directions, conversations on the Loving Life podcast, or the connection and community of Steel Sisters.

Sometimes clarity begins with a single pause.